We labor to make a house a home, then every time we're expecting visitors, we rush to turn it back into a house. ~Robert Brault
Why is it that when friends and family come over we feel the need to clean up our homes more than normal? Would it be that uncomfortable for others to see how you really live? Knowing that things aren't always perfectly placed, that maybe you don't always wash the dished in the sink right after using them and the coffee table in the living room usually has fingerprints all over it. Would they not be friends with you anymore?
Tonight my husband invited another couple that we are friends with over for a movie and some good conversation. We used to get together at least once a month but now we haven't seen them since May. They are recently engaged and I am looking forward to talking wedding talk.
When hubby came in and asked me if it was okay last night, I took a look around at my home that is disheveled from moving and not to mention that the actual housework has taken a back seat to moving as well. I looked at him mortified. Of course I would host but I needed the reassurance that they knew that we are moving and our home is a mess.
Why? We will still have a good time regardless of the way my home looks. They aren't going to pass judgment or think I am a bad housewife or mother because the place is unkempt a week before our move. They know I have three little boys yet when they come over after they are in bed, there are no signs that they live here other than the pictures on the walls.
How much of ourselves do we really hide from others? I have never been the neatest of people in my everyday life. I let the dinner dishes sit until morning and I don't always wipe the boys toothpaste from the sink before bed. I hardly worry about the fingerprints on the coffee table because the second I am done dusting I know they are going to put them right back. Not to mention that I am lucky if I run the vacuum once a week because my youngest is petrified of it. And the way I dress? I rarely get out of my sweats and tanks, I never wear makeup when I am home and my hair is rarely blown straight. Normally it is up in a sloppy ponytail.
So why, when I know I have company coming I 
go into overdrive making sure nothing is out of place? It's as if a rush comes over me and I am racing the clock to make sure that everything is perfect including my appearance before they knock on the door? What if we had surprise visitors? Would I let them in? What would they think? Of course I would invite them in and apologize for the mess. I know they would understand with the knowledge that I have three small boys and a ton of work to do.
So why am I freaking out about tonight?!? No. I refuse to let this control me. I am going to take my time with my cleaning today. If I don't get everything done, so be it. I will make myself up and make sure the area where we will be hanging out is taken care of and be a good hostess as usual. But, I am not going to hide that I can't be organized during a move. It is impossible for me to do so and I don't need to feel more anxiety than this move has already given me.
"If you have never been hated by your child you have never been a parent." ~Bette Davis
Why am I a mean mom? What could I possibly do to earn me this title?!? I finally decided it was time that I stopped cleaning their room for them and asked them to do it themselves. That doesn't sound too harsh, right?
It was 9am and they had just finished eating breakfast. I was in a wonderful mood after a surprising phone call that my oldest would be the "King of Florham Park" in the Fourth of July Parade. The sun was shining and the skies were blue for the first time in months. A perfect day. So, I asked my kids to go clean their rooms so I could take them out. I planned on meeting with some friends and taking them on a fun day at the zoo.
At 9:01 am the complaining began. They didn't want to clean their room. It wasn't fair. I told them to go clean it quickly, it shouldn't take more than 15 minutes and then we would start our day. By 9:15 am I was screaming and hollering because they flat out refused. I was reluctant at first to take away the day outdoors because I too am suffering from cabin fever and tried once again to redirect them into their room.
By 9:30 am, my oldest so nicely came up to me and told me, "It's not fair that I have to clean my room because YOU are too lazy to do it." What?!?!?! Seriously?!?!? Goodbye my day outside. Goodbye my play date with the other moms. Goodbye blue skies.
When did I lose control of my kids? Did I ever really have any? I never ever would have spoken to my mother like this without being afraid of the consequences. I just don't understand where I went wrong. All I asked was that they cleaned their room. You want to know what time they finished? At 7:08 pm. How well did they do? Instead of the mess being on the floor in their room, it is now stuffed into the closet which you no longer can open.
I am so angry with them right now. They are uncontrollable. The worst part, they are only 6 and 3-1/2! What am I going to do when they are older? My oldest missed out on his friends birthday party this evening because of this which in return probably disappointed his friend. My middle child missed a day with his best friend which DID disappoint him because he was looking forward to a day at the zoo. My youngest son missed out on a play date, TV time (because the TV was turned off to redirect the boys) and going outside (not to mention tripping over the mess and taking a nose dive into the coffee table) because of his older brothers. Who in this is really punished? They could care less. They show no signs of regret or sorrow. They just don't seem to care. They were however, sure to let me know how little they think of me.
Today is one of those days that I should have listened to the good news I received first thing in the morning and then go back to sleep. New rule of thumb, if you wake up with the best news you could probably hear that day...the rest of the day is going to be crappy. Go back to bed and call it a day.
