Thursday, May 28, 2009

Memories

"Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never wanted to lose."

Moments after I created this blog, I became very excited and thought about my first real blog entry. It was going to be something about the flowers my boys and I have been working so hard to grow and I wanted to go outside and take a picture of my sons special flowers. When I reached into my purse to retrieve it, I noticed it wasn't there. I searched everywhere for it recounting my steps and calling all the places I had been in and out of within the 2 week time frame since my last picture upload. After hours of searching and making phone calls I finally came to terms and accepted (as much as I possibly could) that my camera was gone. I have been particularly disappointed in myself for losing it and saddened knowing that I will not be getting a new one any time soon. Something my husband mentioned right away when I alerted him of my newest loss. Not that he doesn't want me to have a camera but in his defense he did just buy this one for me almost 2 years ago when my last camera broke.

As a mom to three small boys I tend to take a lot of pictures -- seriously. I average about 200-300 a month. While I have been sitting here watching my boys with their silly daily antics and bonding moments, it hurts when I reach my arm out for my camera that isn't there. It's sad because I feel like I am missing a piece of myself.

I know it seems silly but I am really lost. Memorial Day passed without pictures, Alex's first parade was not documented, Max with his clothes on all the wrong body parts pretending to be the clothes monster, special bonding moment between Mikey and Alex....all came and gone without capturing the memory forever.

Tomorrow, my husband and I will be celebrating our four year wedding anniversary and again no camera to document it. Nor will there be a camera at Mikey's tee-ball game on Saturday.

I know it sounds like I am whining but honestly I am heartbroken and utterly lost without my camera. It became my companion over the past few years and we had a lot of history together and captured a lot of memories. I guess I'm going to have to find another way to capture the memories.

3 comments:

Jo said...

We've broken 2 camera's in the last 3 1/2 years (Hubby broke one, I just broke the 2nd the other day, both by dropping them on concrete but thankfully neither cost more than $90 though they were good camera's). I have a great camera with me all the time thanks to my cell phone, but have been in the market for a new one anyway with better zoom & now have no choice with leaving for vacation on 6/7! I'm lost without a camera too. I love taking pics (and take way too many, lol!).

Cindy said...

Ah Mandy, Let me know if you still don't have a camera and I will keep a look-out for one for you!

Holli said...

Oh I know EXACTLY how you feel. I honestly would feel the same way. Its horrible to not have a camera to document everything. I wish I were getting a new one soon so i could send mine to ya!! If that happens and you still don't have a camera at that time i will gladly give you mine.