Tuesday, December 18, 2007

It's nap time.

I put my children to bed and go lay down myself. I am seconds away from sleep and in comes my 4 yr old, Mikey.

"Mommy I have to go poopie." Okay, so in the bathroom we go.

He turns to me and says, "Mommy, my poopie is sleeping. I have to wait until it's done taking a nap." Okay. Back to bed we go.

I'm drifting into sleepy time. Completely comfortable and right there.... In flies Mikey full force. "Mommy my poopie woke up!"

All children are now up.

End nap time.

Friday, December 7, 2007

and I'm no Carol Brady or June Cleaver.

Sure, I love to cook but I don't wear in apron in the kitchen. I never tried vacuuming in a dress with heels....maybe it would make the job less tedious? Geeze, I don't even put on make-up or get dressed if I'm not going anywhere! I don't wake up before my husband to hand him the morning paper and make his coffee when he can manage the coffee machine all by himself. I yell at my children when they are bad and I don't sugar coat everything and make them believe that the world is perfect.

So, Who is my favorite fictional mom? I would have to say Lynette Scavo from Desperate Housewives.

Okay, so you may not agree that she is the best example of a great mom, but lets face it, Lynette has three boys who many would describe as the devils child, a baby girl and is now caring for her hubby's illegitimate daughter. You probably at least know of children like the Scavo brothers....I gave birth to some myself. Lynette loves her kids and does the best she can to get her troubled kids to behave – even if she has to leave them on the side of the road to teach them a valuable lesson.

She is also a supportive wife who has a good relationship with her husband. They can discuss anything openly. They fight about money, children, work, roles and everything that couples do fight about. They just know that it's okay to disagree.

She is a dedicated mother, strong wife, good step-mom and will go the distance for her friends. So what if her clothes have stains and she goes shopping in sweats...she has her values and knows that her family is the most important thing to live for.

So why would I possibly find any other fictional mother to be a better "Mommy Role Model."

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Are kids smarter today than when you were their age?

What is considered smarter? Learning how to spell your name in Preschool? Learning a foreign language in Kindergarten? Being able to operate a computer?

What about the things I was taught when I was a child? The things that really matter. So what if I don't know a foreign language or I don't know the difference between x-box and PlayStation.

I was taught how to use my imagination. Now children have toys that speak for them, walk, and act life like.

I was taught how to build things. Now, children don't want to waste their time building go-carts and things because you can buy a ride-on toy with specialized motors, real sounds etc for a couple hundred dollars!

I was taught how to share. Now, children don't need to share because gaming systems and the games that you play on them are usually for 1 player. So now a parent with more than 1 child has to buy 2...One for each bedroom.

I exercised daily. Where are the children now? I was kicked out of the house after school and on weekends and was not allowed inside until the street lights came on. We were forced to run around, play tag, and make friends. I can drive down any street in my area on any nice day and not 1 child will be outside. Again...they are inside on those "learning toys" or with their game systems.

I learned science outside of the classroom! I made mud pies and dissected bugs and made army paint out of lightning bugs. Where are kids now, again?

I received an allowance...because I deserved it! Children still get allowances now. Not according to what they did around the house but by what other parents are paying. Even if they don't do anything at all!

I learned to love my body and myself. Now...16 year old girls are getting breast implants for their birthdays, nose jobs because their nose is a little crooked or bumpy. Teenage girls are afraid to eat a cookie or anything else for that matter because they are afraid of the calories, or worst...GETTING FAT!

I learned that "bad guys" are out there and how to run the other way if confronted. Now, children learn from the news how to bring a gun to school and take out their issues improperly.

I learned the meanings of all holidays for all religions. Now everyone is too afraid of being politically correct or upsetting another person...no religion is allowed in schools. Soon it won't be allowed in schools.

I was taught to respect those older than me. I still do! I don't remember the last time I heard a teenager now call an older man sir or older women ma'am. Or a young child call their neighbors Mr/Mrs. So-and so. Not to mention the disrespect children show their parents.

I was taught values. I was taught the meaning of a dollar. I was taugh magic tricks and how to build a fort. I was taught how to make a fire without a match. I learned how to change a tire because I didn't have a cell phone to call someone to do it. I can go on and on, but I will stop here.

So ask me again...Do I think children are smarter now than when I was a kid? No. I think they are just "programmed" better!

Mikey qualified!

I received an email this morning from the child study team at the elementary school.

Hope all is well!
As we're finishing up Michael's evaluations, I would like to schedule a time to meet to review all evaluations and recommendations from therapists. Would Thursday, December 20 at 8:15 work for you? All evaluations will be sent home to you prior to the meeting for your review.
Also, Michael is eligible for the program. In order for him to begin, he will have to be registered in our schools. If you follow this link, all the information is provided as to what you need to do to have Michael registered as a student in the FP schools.
Michael can begin following the holiday break if he is registered. Please feel free to call/email if you have any questions regarding registration or setting up the eligibility meeting.
Thank you!
Yvonne
Sounds great...if you weren't me! I originallly brought him for a speech evaluation. They decided he needed more evaluations behavioral, psychological and placement as well. They didn't go well...at all! (see past journals)
Mikey is scheduled for his speech evaluation on Tuesday so they determined this on the other evaluations. I know it's best for him but I guess I wasn't ready to hear that there is another problem. Me looking for answers is one thing...them agreeing....a total other.
Well then I started stressing how I would get him to school. My car only fits 2 kids and I can't leave one of them so I emailed her back with all my concerns. She told me he is eligible for bus service and they have a preschool bus. Only preschoolers on it and an aide. That made me feel a little better but how do you not stress your baby getting on a bus? He's shy and I worry he is going to have a hard time with this.
I guess I need to wait until the 20th to see what evaluations and recomendations they have for him. I know it's good that I get help now, I'm just worried about my baby.
My mom is going out and buying him new school clothes, and school supplies to help with the transition. It's only 2.5 hours a day. I guess I could look on the bright side. I can leave my house for 2 hours a day with the boys!!

Friday, November 30, 2007

Mother or Monster

With the new law in Mass. trying to be passed I have noticed in a lot of groups that the discussion of spanking has become an open topic. For years I wasn't sure if it was appropriate or not although I was spanked as a child. It just seemed to be a hushed subject. I likied it that way. No one needing to judge how I parent my children or sharing their spanking stories.

Now I see mothers bragging about how they spank. They are proud of it. I have spanked my children, yes I have....BUT I am not proud of it. I don't brag about it or tell others to do it too. I spank according to the problem. If other forms have been repeated and my children still don't understand I try different forms of punishment to teach them a lesson. Spanking is ALWAYS a last resort. It usually doesn't work either. I have found it only works when used because my child has hit another. If my child bites....I bite them back. I don't leave marks on them. Just enough to let them know how it feels and why they shouldn't do it.

I was originally against this ban because I wasn't sure I liked someone telling me how to raise my children. A slight swat on the butt is not what they are looking to ban. I think I finally realized this. Reading how mothers spank their children for accidents and out of anger has disgusted me and THIS is what they are trying to stop! The ban may be able to keep kids safe in public as well as make parents try to find other forms of punishment.

When potty training...your children will have accident. Reassure them that accidents happen and next time try going a little earlier. Don't spank your child. You will push them back a few steps.

Your child spills their milk at the table....Don't spank them. Give them a towel and have them help clean it up. I'm 28 years old and I still spill things.

ACCIDENTS HAPPEN and they should be a learning experience....not a reason to spank!

If you are going to spank.....Learn to spank with love!

Friday, November 16, 2007

If you are unaware of my situation and want to understand the background, you can check my previous journal entry here.

I prepped him all week for this.

I tried to get him excited for it this time.

He knew what they were going to ask him questions.

He knew they wanted to play.

He was okay with it....

UNTIL WE GOT THERE.

We were driving to the school and talking in the car about what we were going to be doing and he was looking forward to it. We pulled up to the school and he asked me where the fire truck was. (Last time they must have had the children learn about firemen) I explained that they aren't always there and we discussed how you learn different things at school. He held my hand as we got out of the car and we skipped to the door. They buzzed us into the school and we headed into the main office. He wanted his visitor sticker and was excited. Then we were told we can go down to the guidance office.

I opened the door and his whole mood changed. I sat down with the "teachers" and asked him to sit next to me. He grunted, pouted and picked up his arms like a toddler. He wanted to sit on my lap. I told him no and to sit in the chair next to me. He "hmphed" and sat on the floor cross-armed. I asked him to get up and aagain he raised his hands at me. I told him no again. One of the teachers asked if I could swich where I was trying to get him to sit. I got up and he sat in my seat. Everyone moved around him.

Without trying to ease him in or anything. They started right with a puzzle throwing it in front of him and asking him questions. He grabbed a hold of the table with a kung-fu grip and put his head down making his evil look that disturbs me. I covered his eyes and asked him to please stop and do the simple puzzle. He just sat there.

After a few minutes the teacher decided to try letting him draw to get him comfortable. He loves to draw so I figured it wouyld work. After 5 minutes of head still down and kung fu grip they decided to try going to motor skills.

They asked him to run down the hall. He still didn't budge. The teacher tried topick him out of his seat and I asked her to allow me to do it because he is very strong and I didn't want her to get hurt. I pried the kung fu grip off the table. I tried to get him to stand and he dropped himself to the floor. To try and get him to run I walked down the hall and asked him to run to me. There's a side hallway so I said I was leaving and kind of hid so he would run. Instead...he crawled down the hall to me like a baby. Then he lifted his arms for me to pick him up. I told him no.

I then hid off with him and had a talk with him as he chewed on his nails and his shirt. I told him that they were very nice and all they wanted to do was play with him. I asked him if he could do that for me and he told me no. He dropped himself to the floor. I tried over and over to pick up his dead-weight body to standing but he refused to let his feet make contact with the floor. After a few minutes of struggling with 44 lbs of dead weight I gave up and walked back into the area where the teachers were waiting and listening.

They decided instead of trying to force him to do things they would just ask me questions about his development since I've been completely honest and not trying to make him seem "better" than he is. We discussed everything and they told me that hopefully they can at least get the speech evaluation completed since that was my major concern. I said hopefully since the speech therapist is coming to my home wer will have better results. They thanked me for coming.

I picked up my dead weight child off the ground and asked him if he wanted to go to Starbucks. As soon as we left that office he came alive again. We discussed all the children's artwork on the walls and the importance of going to school. He doesn't think he needs to go back ever but would like to do the art projects on the walls.

I don't know how I am going to get him ready for kindergarten next year. My poor baby is really anti-school.

Friday, November 9, 2007

With all the discussions on religion, I went surfing the internet looking for different variations that could make all happy. Here are a few that I found and I feel regardless of your religion or lack of one, you can agree of what they are trying to achieve--religious freedom, religious tolerance, and an end to sexism and racism.

We, the members of the human community speak these words, saying.

  1. We shall not limit freedom of thought.
  2. We shall not cause unnecessary harm to any living thing or the environment.
  3. We shall be respectful of the rights of others.
  4. We shall be honest.
  5. We shall be responsible for our actions.
  6. We shall be fair in all matters to all persons.
  7. We shall be considerate of the happiness and well being of others.
  8. We shall be reasonable in our actions.
  9. We shall nurture these values by word & deed in our children, family, friends and acquaintances.
  10. We shall not limit inquiring or testing by their consequences, on any matter, including these Commandments.
Ten Commandments for the Third Millennium: Written by a person who would prefer to remain anonymous. It is obviously a religiously inclusive restatement of the Biblical Ten Commandments which would be acceptable to followers of most religions and to secularists as well:
  1. Respect and worship any deity within your faith tradition, if you follow one. Value and support the right of others to do the same.
  2. Enjoy and support legal guarantees of freedom of religious belief, religious practice, assembly and speech for all.
  3. Do not use obscene speech in the name of the deities of any religion.
  4. Follow the guidance of your faith or secular tradition every day of the week, because every day is important.
  5. Help to establish social safety nets so that the very young, the elderly, the sick, mentally ill, physically disabled, unemployed, poor and broken will receive adequate medical attention and enjoy at least a minimum standard of living.
  6. Minimize the harm you do to others and yourself. Treat others as you would wish to be treated.
  7. Do not engage in sexual activity with another person, which is coercive, unsafe, manipulative, public, or outside of a committed monogamous relationship.
  8. Do not steal the property of others, except in case of emergency (and then only if you attempt to replace or pay for it later).
  9. Do not lie, either in or out of court. Be honest and truthful at all times.
  10. Attempt to be satisfied with your current standard of living; do not obsess over the possessions of others; that path leads to unhappiness.
New versions of five of the commandments by Marylin Vos Savant: In her column in Parade Magazine for 1994-MAR-20, she reverses the last five commandments in interesting ways:
bullet6: "Thou shalt not kill" becomes "Heal those who have been harmed."
bullet7: "Thou shalt not commit adultery" becomes "Respect everyone."
bullet8: "Thou shalt not steal" becomes "Give more to the world than you take."
bullet9: "Thou shalt not bear false witness" becomes "Value the dignity of truth."
bullet

10: "Thou shalt not covet" becomes "Be content with the necessities of life."

The "Shalt Nots"

bulletThou shalt not kill.
bulletThou shalt not steal.
bulletThou shalt not lie.
bulletThou shalt not hate.
bulletThou shalt not oppress.
The "Shalls"
bulletThou shall love.
bulletThou shall create.
bulletThou shall seek knowledge.
bulletThou shall have courage.
bulletThou shall know thyself.

Native American Ten Commandments: This has been published in many places on the Internet. The author is unknown:
  1. Treat the Earth and all that dwell thereon with respect.
  2. Remain close to the Great Spirit.
  3. Consider the impact on the next six generations when making decisions.
  4. Work together to benefit all humanity.
  5. Freely give help and kindness wherever needed.
  6. Do what you believe to be right.
  7. Look after the well-being of your mind and body.
  8. Contribute a share of your efforts to the greater good.
  9. Be truthful and honest at all times.
  10. Take full responsibility for your actions.

Due to all the recent recalls, I have decided there will be no toys for my children for Christmas.

This year we will be enjoying the spirit of Christmas and I will be teaching my children the real meaning. The boys will learn the story of Jesus. They will make puppets and act out the story. We will bake cookies and make gifts for family. We will sing songs and put up a tree. They will even get to go see Santa but on Christmas morning they will know that there will be no toys under the tree.

I will explain (since they are so young) that Santa's workshop is broken and no toys will be made this year. Will they get presents? Of course! But the presents will be clothes, books, movies, maybe computer games and arts and crafts. They will go into the new year learning how to use there imagination and how to make forts and things out of everyday things. Is the hottest toys out therereally worth the riskto my children? No. If things go right, they won't be disappointed come Christmas morning, either.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

I just am uncertain what dangers this holiday season will bring into my home. With all the recent recalls it's making me really worried about the gifts my children will receive for Christmas. How disappointing. Not only do we have to worry about the food we prepare and feed our children now the dangers in the toys are at a high. I told most family members to buy clothes but you know that kids won't get excited about that. How do you know what's safe anymore? Between lead, date rape drugs and all the other recent findings what do we do with the holidays approaching? Maybe buy the kids crafts or old fashioned toys? Avoid big name company's? I can't even keep up with all the recalls anymore.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

I have had a really rough day. It all started at 9:30 am when my son had a scheduled psychological exam. (Background: My son is 4 years old and showing signs of a learning disability so I took him to the schools child study team to see if anything needed to be done. They agreed that he does have an issue and we should do some further testing, one being a psych. evaluation.) So we get there and the school psychologist meets us in the main office. She greets Mikey and he shy's off which she is aware of. He is VERY shy. We get to the guidance office where the study team does the evaluations and she asks me to bring him into a smaller room. As soon as we enter she tells me to leave. Mikey went hysterical. He started screaming and crying and after a few minutes flew out of there and landed on my lap petrified and shaking. What psychologist traumatizes a introverted child like this. She makes me bring him back in the room and leave again. After a few minutes of hearing him cry she calls me in to calm him down. He begs me to take him home and now all of a sudden my child who couldn't wait to go to school now NEVER wants to go, ever again!! This went on for an hour. She asked me if he had tantrums like this at home and I said yes. She then questioned his learning and I explained that when you try to teach him things he gets frustrated and shuts down. He doesn't know his alphabet in order or basic comprehension like most children his age. HOWEVER...he loves to teach himself. I then explained how he taught himself how to add and subtract and he even knows by looking at the clock when it's time for lunch, dinner, bed and which of his shows are on tv. She then recommended I bring him to a neurologist. WTF is that??? She then tried to get him to look at her but he still wouldn't so she said we will try more next week and will send me a survey to fill out about his home behavior. She said she may get all she needs by what he displayed today and the survey, although she would like to see what his IQ results are.

So then I go to the doctor this afternoon with him. I explain everything and he gives me the name of a neurodevelopmental pediatrician and agrees that he has a disability. Also recommends he see's an audiologist to test his hearing.

So now here I am with a traumatized 4 year old. Who last night couldn't wait to be a big boy and go to school and now won't even watch the school bus drive by. My poor baby. I just want to hold him.

This is my 4 year 3 month old Mikey. Mikey is 3 feet 4-1/2 inches tall and 44 pounds. I returned from his 4 year check up today extremely upset. The doctor told me his BMI was off the charts over the 95th% and that he was considered obese. Does he look obese, none the less fat to anyone??? When he stands up straight you can see his ribs!! He has big shoulders and has a thick solid frame but I would never consider him fat none-the-less obese. I had a trying day with him today. We had his psychological evaluation this morning for a learning disability (I will post about that in another journal) and then off to the doctors in the afternoon. Then I get asked if I want to be referred to a nutritionist. I denied. I am perfectly capable of knowing what is good food and what is bad. The doctor gave me some simple things to do to lower his weight but OBESE? I can not get past this LABEL being put on my 4 year old son!!

I am so angry right now!!!!

Sorry I needed to vent.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

~ When God closes a door, he opens up a window.

~ The grass is not always greener on the other side.

~ Some lessons have to be lived not taught.

~ Storms always clear up and the sun will always shine again.

~ That trust is something earned, not handed.

~ Everyoone you meet will have an impact on the path of your life.

~ Smoking is not cool!

~ Bad haircuts will grow out.

~ Tantrums don't solve anything.

~ You will find your soulmate, eventually.

~ The truth will always come out.

~ Your eating habits will eventually catch up to you.

~ Respect yourself first.

~ A true friend never leads you into danger.

~ A true love never will abuse you.

~ Life goes fast enough. Stay young and enjoy it.

~ The "nerds" somehow look really good after high school.

~ Nothing good could come out of being out after midnight.

~ Life isn't a contest or beauty pageant. Everyone is beautiful and talented in their own way. You just need to find it in you and let it shine!!

Finally.....

Love like you've never been hurt, Dance as if no one were watching, Sing as if no one were listening, And live every day as if it were your last.

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