My post yesterday reminded me of an old email I received 2 years ago. I shared it on Cafemom as a journal entry thankfully and was able to retrieve it for a smile today. Now I know why the "Mean Mom" label didn't hurt so bad. I'm a proud "Mean Mom", are you?

MEAN MOM

Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me:

I loved you enough to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.

I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect.

I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it.

Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.

And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.

Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.

When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches.

And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too.

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.

We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough!

Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them.

While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.

Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's property or ever arrested for any crime.

It was all her fault.

Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was.

I think that is what's wrong with the world today.

It just doesn't have enough mean moms!

"If you have never been hated by your child you have never been a parent." ~Bette Davis


Thank you boys for my wonderful new title. I am very proud of it today. I have always had an issue with labels but this one I like. I especially enjoyed how you threw in a few "it's not fairs" and the "I hate yous" which I am growing more and more fond of.

Why am I a mean mom? What could I possibly do to earn me this title?!? I finally decided it was time that I stopped cleaning their room for them and asked them to do it themselves. That doesn't sound too harsh, right?

It was 9am and they had just finished eating breakfast. I was in a wonderful mood after a surprising phone call that my oldest would be the "King of Florham Park" in the Fourth of July Parade. The sun was shining and the skies were blue for the first time in months. A perfect day. So, I asked my kids to go clean their rooms so I could take them out. I planned on meeting with some friends and taking them on a fun day at the zoo.

At 9:01 am the complaining began. They didn't want to clean their room. It wasn't fair. I told them to go clean it quickly, it shouldn't take more than 15 minutes and then we would start our day. By 9:15 am I was screaming and hollering because they flat out refused. I was reluctant at first to take away the day outdoors because I too am suffering from cabin fever and tried once again to redirect them into their room.

By 9:30 am, my oldest so nicely came up to me and told me, "It's not fair that I have to clean my room because YOU are too lazy to do it." What?!?!?! Seriously?!?!? Goodbye my day outside. Goodbye my play date with the other moms. Goodbye blue skies.

When did I lose control of my kids? Did I ever really have any? I never ever would have spoken to my mother like this without being afraid of the consequences. I just don't understand where I went wrong. All I asked was that they cleaned their room. You want to know what time they finished? At 7:08 pm. How well did they do? Instead of the mess being on the floor in their room, it is now stuffed into the closet which you no longer can open.

I am so angry with them right now. They are uncontrollable. The worst part, they are only 6 and 3-1/2! What am I going to do when they are older? My oldest missed out on his friends birthday party this evening because of this which in return probably disappointed his friend. My middle child missed a day with his best friend which DID disappoint him because he was looking forward to a day at the zoo. My youngest son missed out on a play date, TV time (because the TV was turned off to redirect the boys) and going outside (not to mention tripping over the mess and taking a nose dive into the coffee table) because of his older brothers. Who in this is really punished? They could care less. They show no signs of regret or sorrow. They just don't seem to care. They were however, sure to let me know how little they think of me.

Today is one of those days that I should have listened to the good news I received first thing in the morning and then go back to sleep. New rule of thumb, if you wake up with the best news you could probably hear that day...the rest of the day is going to be crappy. Go back to bed and call it a day.

"You brighten my life through storm and rain. Like a million stars shining...forever."

Happy 2nd Birthday to my peanut, Alex. You are and always will be my little ray of sunshine. Your smile and laugh are contagious, my love and you make every day a little bit brighter. Mommy love you now, always and forever. <3

"He has the spirit of the sun, the moods of the moon, the will of the wind."

Happy Birthday to the first boy who ever took my breath away. The first eyes I looked into so adoringly that I thought my heart would explode with all the admiration and love I felt. The true meaning of love at first sight. Happy 6th Birthday, Mikey. Mommy loves you more than you will ever know. You are and always will be my shining star!

"Good for the body is the work of the body, good for the soul the work of the soul, and good for either the work of the other. ~Henry David Thoreau"

A fellow COL Girl, -- I love writing that. I'm not sure if it is because if you are from certain states you might pronounce it as "Call" Girl or not, but it utterly amuses me. Anyways, as I was saying; while reading through other COL Girls blogs this evening, I jumped onto one of my favorite Friday evening posts, Lizzi's, "It's Friday evening and this is what I'm thinking. Which if you don't frequent, is a weekly ponder of all kinds of things on her mind. It's very enjoyable to read and it usually makes me giggle or at least, puts a smile on my face.

Well, in her ponders tonight, she asked what we like about our body's before continuing with her personal favorite features. I'm not giving away any more of her blog entry, so go read it. I listed the link above and if you aren't following her, I recommend you do. She's a great writer!!

Anyways, back on topic. I have been hard on myself lately because for some reason or another since I hit 30 (probably more around 29-1/2 when I started realizing how close to 30 I really was) my metabolism just stopped. Not slowed, just stopped and I haven't been happy with my appearance. It seems to be taking on a new shape, one that I am not happily embracing.

But, this question (thanks, Lizzi!) really made me reflect and I finally realized what I DO love about my body.

I love my stomach. Yes, it is rounding out a bit and is in serious need of some toning; and although it does not have one stretch mark the skin has lost it's elasticity but none-the-less, for a good reason. For 27 months within a 5 year period, it was where I harbored my three boys. It's also what my boys like to lay on and once were so kind enough to tell me that it's because "it's as soft as a pillow." (If only they knew how many crunches I did that night after that loving term of endearment.) Every time I look down and am unhappy with the way it looks, I try to remind myself of those flutters and kicks I once felt. It usually makes me stand a bit taller, which in return makes my stomach look a lot nicer.

I love my hips. These new curves and hour glass figure that I now possess have become my boy's favorite resting spot when I pick them up. Something that once shocked me in the mirror has become so necessary in motherhood. During colicky hours, reassurance after a boo-boo and just when they are too tired to walk. These hips were created with my boys in mind.

I love my arms. Who knew that my skinny little arms could carry so much weight? They are getting a bit flabby now that the boys aren't in constant need of being carried around and they are losing their tone. But, they are once where I rocked my babies to sleep. And still today, what I wrap around my boys and embrace in a big bear hug. They carry enough strength to pull all three of my children away from danger and carry them off to safety but are delicate enough to make me feel feminine.

I love my smile. I may have big uneven teeth with a space between my front two (I know Mom, I should still where my retainer) and they may be a little yellow from the over-indulgence of Starbucks, but every time I smile I can feel my face glow. It makes me happy to watch my children grow and experience knew things. And it makes them proud to see me smiling back at them. It may not be the most perfect smile but it's enough to let my children know how much I love them.

I love my eyes. The dark circles underneath from years of lack of sleep are no match for the love that you can see when you look into them. I am a deep person and everything about me could be read through my big browns. They are youthful but aged. They are innocent but experienced. And you can always get sincere honesty by looking at them.

I love my nose. Did you read that? I LOVE my nose. My "Wicked Witch" nose that it was once labeled with the ugly bump that made me throughout my childhood hate to have someone look at my profile is now one of my favorite features. Wanna know why? Because, three little boys who will one day find their own self-proclaimed imperfections that they will one day complain about. One day they will find one part of their perfect bodies flawed and I will look at them adoringly and tell them why that part of them is perfect.

I may not have that teeny waist that I once had and my age may be starting to show along my eyes and mouth, but I am embracing my body and the years of experience that it is starting to show. It may have its imperfections and I am working on the ones that I can. The things I can't, I am finding aren't so bad after all. And the best part, in my children's eyes, I am a beautiful princess and my husband still looks at me the same way he did when we first met. What could be better than that?

Thank you boys, for this beautiful curvy body that you helped shape and my renewed self-respect and esteem.

*Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and take you to the park to play.

*Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.

*Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles.

*Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck and I will buy you one if he comes by.

*Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.

*Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you trying to fix them.

*Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald's and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys.

*Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you.

*Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry.

*Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.

*Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my favorite TV shows.

*Just for this evening when I run my finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.

*I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for their missing children, the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms, and mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly, and screaming inside that they can't handle it anymore.

*And when I kiss you good night I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then, that I will thank God for you, and ask Him for nothing, except one more day............

This weekend my oldest will be 6 and my youngest will be 2. I probably will be doing a lot of reflecting on my kids this week. To start out the week, I wanted to share a poem I wrote last year for all of them.

"If you want to see the rainbow, you have to put up with the rain." ~ Dolly Parton

Today we saw the sun!!! It sounds silly, but it has been a while since the sun has shined here in Northern, NJ. We have become used to being stuck inside with nothing to do. But today, the sun listened to my children's pleading song (You may have heard it on Barney, "Oh, Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun, Please shine down on me...") and it broke through the clouds.

The boys were so excited this afternoon to put on their sneakers and stomp in puddles and take a walk. They ran, they played tag, they picked flowers and just had a blast.

This evening, after dinner we went out for another go at it. We took a nice family walk, watching the airplanes and just enjoying the fresh air and the great outdoors when Mikey discovered his first rainbow. He was extremely excited (and I just so happened to bring my camera along for the walk...just in case) and showed his brothers. Max was so happy that he started jumping up and down clapping his hand. (Alex looked at it but didn't really understand what the big deal was. LOL)

I showed the boys all the colors in the rainbow and Max was just in awe with it. (Remember, it's the little things in life) While Mikey, sat there a little disappointed. He has been searching for a rainbow for the last three years and he finally found one and he thought they would be brighter. More like the way he draws them in his pictures. I explained to him how rainbows are made and how the way the sun was reflecting it just wasn't a good angle to see it so brightly. He seemed happy with that and continued to stare in awe.

I love when my children receive these beautiful gifts from Mother Nature. I love how happy it makes them and I love that it is something that will stay with them forever. First rainbows, cloud watching, and constellations and the moon bring such joy to young children. We are still searching for their first four leaf clovers but I have a feeling we are coming close. More to come on that one soon. ;)

I am leaving you now with a video of my favorite version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow. Enjoy your weekend. =)

"Take me out to the ball game..."


Well this is Mikey's first season of tee-ball and it has been a wash-out. He probably had 3 or 4 practices and 1 game. The season is ending in two weeks and judging from the forecast I think baseball is behind us for the year.

He didn't really enjoy the game as much as the time with his friends but at the ending he was starting to show more interest. Its disappointing that he couldn't get a full season in, he may have really grown to love it.

Well, today I received his pics in the mail and I just had to share them. I'm a little upset that the photographer had the kids facing the sun because Mikey is squinting pretty hard but it's still cute. I think it looks like he has "a look." LOL What do you think of my handsome boy and his amazing team. Aren't they an adorable bunch? I am such a proud Mama, not only of my son but of the whole team. They really did a great job for the few practices they had. Now let's just hope they can get a few more in and the sun will work with us the next two weeks.

"Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair." ~ Kahlil Gibran

A few weeks ago, my boys discovered the fine art of cloud watching. It was a beautiful day so I decided to take them to the park to run around and get out there energy. They did for a bit and then finally went and settled at the gazebo in the corner of the park.

I went and joined them and they lay down so I joined them and my oldest started pointing things out in the clouds. I got quite a giggle watching them use their imaginations to find things in the sky. Granted, it was only a five minute (if even) ordeal but it was enough to bring me right back to my childhood.

The older two became bored quickly and ventured out to the playground to chase more pirates and me and my little man (who will be 2 in a few weeks) continued to lay there and watch the clouds. I pointed out things I saw and then a plane crossed overhead and that rose his curiosity even more.

Sometimes I feel that we take these little things for granted. Life becomes more of monetary values and the simple things -- well, we let them just slip away. Birthday parties no longer exist at homes with simple games of pin-the-tail on the donkey or musical chairs now they are costly and held at extravagant places. You drive down the street on a beautiful day and there are no children on the streets playing. When I was a child, we were booted out after 9:30 am (as to not wake the neighbors) and we were not allowed in (except for meals and potty breaks) until the street lights came on.

Where did the good ole' days go? I'm now reading a book called "Free Range Kids." The authors theory is that more kids are inside today because of parents fear. According to her statistics about 80% of us were sent outside like I just described but only 30% of us allow our children the same benefit. Some say the world is worse now...but statistically speaking its not more dangerous, the same dangers were there when we were kids but now we are too informed about it. So what do we do? We keep them in front of a tv, video games, etc and let these electronical babysitters drain our children. burn brain cells and risk their health for lack of exercise.

My boys love bubbles and baseball, they love dancing in the rain, cloud watching, searching for rainbows, chasing bugs and running through the grass barefoot. I am going to try to allow my children a little more "free range" so they don't miss out on all those fun activities we did as children. Mud pie anyone?

This song is a dedication to my beautiful boys. Mommy LOVES You!

"Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too."

After a long week of dreary, rainy days we finally had a nice weekend. Saturday unfortunately we didn't take advantage only because we have so much to do for this move. But, Sunday we went to my parents house and spent the day outside. The boys had a blast! They love going to their grandparents house because they have the freedom to run around and be kids. Here, they are always couped up because there is nothing for them to do.

Well, what's better than a day of blowing bubbles, playing with bugs and practicing baseball? Forget all the fancy gadgets and toys they come out with. When it comes down to it the classics are always the best!

Here's a video of my oldest Mikey practicing his baseball. He is getting much better!! Too bad the whole tee-ball season has practically been washed away with the rainy days.


Here are a few of my favorite pics of the day too...



This is my little man Alex.



Max and Mikey blowing bubbles



All my boys. <3

"Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver and the other is gold."

It's been a crazy, hectic, depressing, rainy, cabin-fevery, sick kid, down in the dumps kind of week. I've been trying all week to search my soul for inspiration to get past this rut I've been in.

This morning I had a good cry and that seemed to help, but more about that tomorrow. Tonight, I had an amazing family night. Good movie followed by dancing with the boys. I took some pics and will post them tomorrow. Did I mention that I have a camera now? My mom is one awesome woman and let me borrow hers until I get a new one. (Thanks Mom <3)

Well I'm supposed to be having cuddle time with hubby but I just wanted to thank all of you new and old for giving me laughs and smiles this week. xoxxoo

I. Thou shalt love and honor the Earth for it blesses thy life and governs thy survival.

II. Thou shalt keep each day sacred to the Earth and celebrate the turning of its seasons.

III. Thou shalt not hold thyself above other living things nor drive them to extinction.

IV. Thou shalt give thanks for thy food, to the creatures and plants that nourish thee.

V. Thou shalt educate thy offspring for multitudes of people are a blessing unto the Earth when we live in harmony.

VI. Thou shall not kill, nor waste Earth's riches upon weapons of war.

VII. Thou shalt not pursue profit at the Earth's expense but strive to restore its damaged majesty.

VIII. Thou shalt not hide from thyself or others the consequences of thy actions upon the Earth.

IX. Thou shalt not steal from future generations by impoverishing or poisoning the Earth.

X. Thou shalt consume material goods in moderation so all may share the Earth's bounty.

God writes the gospel not in the Bible alone, but on trees and flowers and clouds and stars. ~Martin Luther

We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children. ~ Native American Proverb.

Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. ~Kahlil Gibran

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished. ~Lao Tzu

The sky is the daily bread of the eyes. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

I believe in God, only I spell it Nature. ~Frank Lloyd Wright

Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better. ~Albert Einstein

I'm having one of those "blue" days...where I search for comfort in words. Where I am struggling with my goals and wondering who I am in the world.

I know we all have these days and we all express them in our own ways. We all search for answers and certain comforts. Some clean, others eat, me?...I look for my inspiration through quotes, pictures and natural beauty. They all help lead me towards the right path.

On my search through the wonderful world wide web, I found this and it empowered me. It reminded me that I am worth something and I need to get past the difficulties and continue to live.

I try to live in the moment, keep the Eckhart Tolle's "I AM" way of thinking and keep myself in the present which is why I lean towards these crutches for support. As the wonderful, Walt Whitman once said, "I exist as I am, that is enough, if no other in the world be aware I sit content. And if each and all be aware I sit content." =)

I hope if you find yourself feeling low, or just a little off today; that this will help you out too.

Love and Light!

The most important lesson my mother taught me about being a mom…

As a child my mother always said, “You will understand when you are a mother.” And she was right... now I know.

My mother taught me the bond that you will never have with anyone else but your child.

I know the movements my children made inside of me when I was pregnant and the difference in each one and how it has produced into their personalities.

I know the feeling of pain from labor but that the feeling of holding your child for the first time outweighs it and makes you instantly forget.

I know the bond that only a mother can feel when she looks into her child’s eyes for the first time.

I know that promise you make to them in those first few minutes of life to protect them, always be there for them and most of all to love them forever.

I know that feeling you get when your child smiles at you for the first time. Or when they roll over, take their first steps and say your name.

I know the overwhelming love you feel when your child gives you a hug or kiss and tells you they love you.

I know this because my mother taught me.

My mother taught me the reasons for her over protectiveness.

I know when my child gets on that bus to school every morning I will worry until the moment he comes home and is in my care again.

I know when my child is sleeping at night why I check on them throughout the night.

I know why I make sure my last words to them every night before bed and every time we need to part is, I Love You.

I know when someone is watching my children that lump you feel in your chest worrying if they are okay.

I know when a child takes their first steps you can’t baby them but you can always be a few steps away from them to catch them if they fall.

I know they will one day tell me they hate me for being over protective and tell me I am the worst mother in the world, and I will smile at them and respond, “When you have children, you will understand.”

I know this because my mother taught me.

My mother taught me the sacrifice that a mother makes for her child.

I know the sacrifices you make to give your child everything they want and need.

I know the sacrifice of not always being home with my children because in order to give my children the best, I need to work.

I know the sacrifice of sleep because your child isn’t feeling well.

I know the sacrifice of your favorite foods because your child doesn’t like them.

I know the sacrifice of new undergarments or clothes because although yours are old you find yourself in the children’s department of the store buying for your children instead.

I know this, because my mother taught me.

My mother taught me to be strong for my children.

I know that I need to teach my children to walk but it’s hard not to hold their hand.

I know I need to teach my children to be independent but that I will always be there when they are in a jam.

I know that I need to let my children find out things for themselves but I could always give them advice.

I know that I can’t stop them from the heartaches they will endure but I can always lend an ear and a shoulder to lean on.

I know that I can’t stop them from growing up but I can help them on the right path.

I know that I can’t stop them from straying from that path but I can help them find it again.

I know that the lessons I teach my children will be harder on me then they are on them.

I know this because my mother taught me.

My mother also taught me the most valuable lesson of all…

Since becoming a mother, my mom has taught me even more lessons. These lessons I haven’t questioned or even thought twice about the advice. Now I listen to her and although some things I may not agree with, I still keep those lessons in the back of my mind knowing one day I too will understand.

The most valuable lesson my mother has taught me since becoming a mother myself, is to enjoy my children because they grow up so fast. She is absolutely right, too. I have stopped and smelled the roses with my boys, spent a whole day cuddling with them on the couch. I have danced like a fool in my living room with them and we have laughed so hard that we cried. I have enjoyed every feeding, every cuddle and every kiss as if it was the first time. I have sat admiring my children when they thought I wasn’t looking and cried at night because I love them so much.

I know the meaning of being a mother, I know how it feels and I know I will teach my children the same... just as my mother taught me.